This month’s featured resource is the Center for Parent and Teen Communication. It is an organization which is a part of the Division of Adolescent Medicine at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.
Their mission is to help parents raise teens who are prepared to thrive. They provide knowledge and skills to caring adults to promote positive youth development and foster strong family connections.
Topics of Discussion
While looking at the Center for Parent and Teen Communication website, you will see the following topics that they talk about.
- Growth and Development
- Communication Strategies
- Building Character
- Health and Prevention
- For Teens
One of the topics that really caught my eye was the section for teens. When I clicked on that link, it opened up a list of many articles. With all of the conversation we we have had about talking to your teens, the following articles caught my eye.
Your Parents Want To Hear Your Feelings
The first line of this article is more advice for your teens by teens. It is a 100-word parenting tip.
Sometimes teens don’t loop their parents into their feelings because they don’t want to be a burden. They worry that their parents will be scared if they admit how they’re feeling or become even more restrictive. Guess what? There are no feelings that you are carrying that are too heavy for your parents to help you lift, too. They want to know what is going on in your mind — it’s the only way they can help. And once they know, it may make communication easier between you, too. – quoted from the Center for Parent and Teen Communication Website
So, think about that for a minute. They don’t want to be a burden. We want to be there for out teens and help them in anyway that we can, but they don’t want to be a burden. The next line is important too. If they admit how they are feeling, we may become more restrictive. We may have a tendency to want to protect them from what they are feeling and make them stay home to avoid what may be causing it. We may not be able to just support them and help let them continue to work through these feelings on their own. Let them continue to make their choices and learn from them. Some situations may need our intervention and pulling them away from something, but in a lot of cases, if we let them just continue to grow from those feelings and be there to listen, it could go a long way to strengthening your relationship with them.
Set a Goal for Your Discussion
Another advice for your teens by teens 100-word parenting tip.
You need to discuss something with your parents, and you want them to see your point of view or maybe change their mind on something. Setting a goal for the conversation means that you will likely reach your goal for the conversation. The other person can’t give you what you need until you know what you need. So before you say the first word, take some time to figure out what you need from the other person, whether it’s a parent, teacher, or your boss. Go into the conversation with a goal. – quoted from the Center for Parent and Teen Communication Website
We as parents and caring adults can learn from this one too. As we are trying to build those relationships with our teens, we should think about the goals we have for our conversations with them. Sometimes our goal can be that we want to see how they are doing or want to find out what they want for their birthday. But, let’s say we want to find out what they know about peer pressure, our goal can be to find out what they know and educate them on what they don’t know.
The other thing I love about this tip is it gets you to think about what you really want from the conversation. The other person cannot read your mind or just know what is on your mind. They need some direction to help you. Sometimes I think we hope that someone will just know how we are feeling and just give us what we need. This is also good advice for adults too. Know what you want from the other person so you can ask for it.
Articles about Peer Pressure
There are so many helpful articles on this website. With our quarterly focus on peer pressure, there are a couple of great articles to be found there about it. One of them is called, What Teens Think About Peer Pressure – And How Parents Can Help by Taylor Tropea
According to the article, most teens will experience some form of peer pressure. Like we talked about this quarter already, peer pressure can be positive but it can also be negative. It happens at a time in their lives when they are trying to figure out who they are and are trying to fit in at school and with their peers. That is why peer pressure can be a strong force for a teen to have to deal with.
Teens are motivated to want to feel normal and not be seen as different. That is how they develop their identity which they do in part by comparing themselves to others. So, if their best friend Ashley is wearing the trendy jeans, our daughter is going to want to wear them too. Clothing can be an easy one to try and help them fit in (except those jeans could be really expensive). But going to the parties with alcohol being served and being pressure to try drugs are tougher ones for our teens to face on their own.
So what can parents do to help? According to the article, teaching our teens that teaching them to say no is a powerful way stay true to themselves and stay out of those tough situations. Surround your teen with role models that will shape their development in positive ways. And, be there for your teens. create a way for your teen to feel confident and have a safe way out of any uncomfortable situation.
Center for Parent and Teen Communication Resource
The Center for Parent and Teen Communication is a great resource for finding ways to communicate with your teen on a variety of subjects. Here is one last thought on dealing with peer pressure from a teen’s point of view.
And, if your teen is dealing with peer pressure and comes to you with a situation. Be open and listen to the entire story before reacting to what they are saying. Let them share the pieces with you. If you cut in with your own dramatic response, it may cause your teen to shut down and cause them not to come to you in the future and lose trust in you. And ask them how they would like to proceed instead of giving them a direction to take, unless they ask for one.
There are many more article and topics on their website. Be sure to go and take a look. You will find a link to it on the Mentoring A Dream Resources page.
The Hard Way is about peer pressure
The Hard Way is the first book in The Way Series by Selma P. Verde. It is the story of Paul Jones and his navigating peer pressure to make choices. In the story, is peers challenge him to make a choice. The choice he makes helps him stay loyal to his friends, but it leads to big consequences. To find out what choice he makes, follow the link below and pick up your copy today!
And, for more information about peer pressure, click on this link to our focus on the subject. Mentoring A Dream – Peer Pressure